Let's Talk about Self-love on Valentine's Day

Most people think that Valentine's Day is only happily celebrated by people who are exclusively dating, or by couples, partners, friends and people who are in an unlabeled kind of romance.

Before we dive into matters concerning love, let me take your mind to a quick historical tour wherein you'll be brought back to the time where Valentine's Day started.

According to BBC, the first Valentine's Day was in AD 496. Originally, it was celebrated as a Roman pagan festival called Lupercalia wherein animal sacrifice, matchmaking and coupling were done. Well, thanks to Pope Gelasius I who banned it and instead changed it to a celebration called the "Feast of St. Valentine" to commemorate his death.

St. Valentine is said to be the patron saint of lovers since he conducted marriages for young lovers in secret. Then he's said to have fallen in love with his jailer's daughter and wrote her a farewell note before he got beheaded with the words "From your Valentine". Interesting, isn't it?

But I know that you're here not for the history. You're certainly here for the... "SELF-LOVE".

To be honest, I didn't have any plans to write something about Valentine's but then an idea just popped up after I ate lunch so I took advantage of it and started writing. This topic is dear to me because I feel the weight of its importance not just to our sanity but also to our existence.

Due to the general traditional Love Day belief, we often associate Valentine's Day with giving and receiving gifts or flowers or celebrating it with our special someone. But have you ever thought of taking yourself out on a date on Valentines too? Does self-love sound weird to you? Because for me, that screams FREEDOM, INDEPENDENCE and SELF-SUFFICIENCY.

Self-love is absolutely life-changing. I love being with friends and loved ones as well, but I've always looked forward to spending time with myself. It doesn't mean that if you're in a relationship or if you're married and have kids, you can't express self-love through taking yourself out on a date anymore. I've always believed that it's a NECESSITY because it's the time when you get to know and discover more about yourself.

There was a time when I went to a local restaurant in Thailand and the service crew asked me in broken English, "Table for how many madam?" And I smiled because obviously, I was alone. lol! I politely answered, "Table for two please. One seat for me and one for my backpack. Thank you." Then the couple beside me smiled at me.

Here's a picture of me in Myanmar. Solo traveling in scrubs. I find scrub suits lighter and more convenient to wear. lol! This was a day before I flew to Thailand. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the photo of the restaurant where I ate in so I posted this instead. lol

I also remember spending Valentine's Day alone, attending the mass in church and buying roses for myself thereafter. When I came home, my mom asked me if the flowers came from my boyfriend. I told her that I bought it and then she gave me a look of hesitation. I mean, why? Aren't you capable of always giving yourself the love you expect to receive from others?

Now. that sounds selfish. But it actually isn't. It's the most valuable thing you could ever give to yourself. One of my favorite quotes about self-love is that of Rupi Kaur's. "How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."

Once you get to enjoy and love your own company, it'd be easier for you to thrive and flourish because you know you got your back.

Self-love, on the other hand, isn't comfortable at first, knowing that you have a lot of yearnings, insecurities and maybe emotional baggage. I've had days when it was too hard to even look at myself in the mirror. It requires so much effort because you get to train yourself to deal with your inner demons. For me, the hardest battles are the intrapersonal ones. But once self-love becomes a practice or a habit, trust me, it's going to become your sanity's bestfriend.

One misconception about self-love is that it's solely just treating yourself out for a coffee date or going to the spa and pampering yourself, eating your heart out or buying the things that bring you to a euphoric state. Well, it's beyond that. It's more than "just" that.

Self-love is being aware of your flaws while making an effort to become better than your old self and having the courage to accept what and who you are. It's also the force that lifts you to rebuild yourself after an emotional damage. Other people can lift you up but if you don't love yourself enough, you'll choose to just keep hurting. It's politely and bravely saying "NO" to things, events and people that may have the potential to disrupt your inner peace. It's the drive to keep fighting despite all the odds and difficult challenges. It's talking to yourself like how you would want others to talk to you. It's writing yourself a letter the way you would want your lover to write to you. You know, it's all about Inner Work.

This Valentine's Day, please remember that you are loved, to give some love to others and most importantly, to love yourself. Make everyday Valentine's Day.

Let me end this article through sharing another self-love quote to ponder on. "Loving yourself makes it easier to love others. You can't truly love another until you know how to love yourself."