Musings On the Bernina Express

As I am writing this, I am eating Cordon Bleu with tomatoes and cucumber while waiting for my frozen shrimps to get thawed because tonight, I'll be cooking Monggo, a Filipino comfort cuisine. I don't know but I just love mentioning the dishes that I eat while writing because I pay them gratitude for fueling my mind for me to untether dormant creative juices just kinda stuck around its corners.

I don't consider myself a natural so that means, I exert effort, I draw inspiration out of things which either crushed me and or I hold dear to me and I pour all my heart out for me to come up with ideas and even if it's already at my best, the outcome is just mediocre to even non-satisfactory but I love seeing progress and being my own critic and that's one of the reasons why I keep writing.

Milan to Tirano. Tirano to St. Moritz. St. Moritz to Lake Como. Arghhh. Never in my life will I ever forget this experience. It was so exhilarating that whenever I feel a little under the weather, my senses just yearn for the kind of medicine that can just be found down my memory lane. And this is this vacation, in particular. Albeit a short one, it gave me the kind of healing that burrows deep into the soul like a beaver excavating the ground for rest and shelter. Sounds funny but atleast for me, it's what it feels like.

Enjoy reading and I hope you can find comfort through my musings and this is the first blogpost that to me, feels like a breath of fresh air since detailed or descriptive writing is my thing but unfortunately, isn't my forte but please allow this blogpost to serve as a warm hug to your soul. :)

How It Started

It was almost July when my friend asked me if I wanted to go with her, together with her partner and her mom and try the Bernina Express. I was like, "What is that?".

I then googled it and the Phileas Fogg in me was just suddenly raring to go but the Ichabod Crane in me was at the same time, kinda drawn back from impulsively booking a ticket to Tirano, Italy because as redundant as it may sound, I just came back from a vacation in Bari, Italy. lol! It took me days contemplating. But hell yeah! Phileas Fogg definitely won! Haha I then booked the tickets and found myself as giddy as a baby Alpaca! I am deeply grateful for friends who bring us to the ultimate experience of a lifetime!

The Trip

It was partly a solo trip flying out from Germany straight out from a night shift to Milan and traveling to Tirano thru local transport and Italy was having a lot of rerouting at that time because of roadworks. Oh God, I felt like it was all worth it when I finally set foot in my room in Tirano (Bernina Express Eco Rooms &Breakfast). It was on the 3rd floor and the view instantly gave a 'European Postcard straight out of the window' vibe.

view from my room in Tirano

Musings # 1

I had a late dinner at the hotel's restaurant and I was accompanied by Steinbeck's The East of Eden, which for the longest time, I've been reading in little chunks not because it isn't that enthralling but because I just have a lot in my plate. "Thou mayest." (from the book, The East of Eden)

As short and simple as it sounds, it evokes so much strength and fully dimensional beauty which always reminds me that we get to choose how we live our life. Oddly, I thought about the war in Gaza while eating Crème Brûlée in relevance to the evil nature of Cathy in this book by the way.

Like how far can evil go? Why is there so much suffering in the world and some aren't even exposed yet in social media? And if I could choose how I live my life, why are there people who were just born to suffer and die young like the innocent children in Gaza who were just killed mercilessly? At that short moment, I felt a tinge of guilt while swallowing a quarter of a slice of the dessert I was served with and felt sad but at the same time, blessed. I felt full but also drained. Too much paradoxical emotions. It was then around 10:30 in the evening when I went back to my room to prepare for my trip to St. Moritz the following day.

I woke up early to enjoy the view even just for an hour and I could see the red Bernina Panoramic Train from my balcony. Oh God! I truly live for moments like this which feel so surreal and ethereal. Like, is this really my life now? I mean, there's a lot of clutter and chaos at work, at home and in my life generally but seriously???? I could just escape them that fast and travel to this paradise on earth in just an hour or 2?!! No, you gotta be kidding me. (This is me talking to myself) Haha!

The hotel I booked provided a free breakfast buffet so I ate everything which appeared palatable to me Haha!

Off to the real experience

I boarded the train along with mostly senior citizens traveling as a group so my backpain and energy resonated a lot with their age. Haha! But they were really loud and vibrant that I felt like they exude more youth in them than I do, Haha! I sat with an Arab family who came from Dubai and at first, I just minded my own business and tried being present. No book being read. No music being listened to. Just being in the moment.

I was so blown away by the sceneries that I found myself catching my breath countless times. I was tearing up as an Empath because of so much disbelief and gratitude in my heart and it was like a shimmery moment of tapping myself on the back while saying: ''This Promdi (little provincial girl) made it." The same way as I was blown away with the views and sceneries, was I, as well, with the kindness this Arab family showed me. They offered to take my photos and even bought me coffee. I was so touched that I had to hide my face while tearing up. I don't know about you but I have the softest spot for kind people who do random acts of kindness to strangers not for the show but genuinely.

Musings # 2

Oh God, if I did not pass my application letter for Germany on the last minute within the last day of the final submission, I would have not seen how much of a Beaut Europe really is! It's not my first time in Switzerland. I visited Bern, Lucerne, Thun and a few other places in Switzerland before but for some reason, this one really had the most magic. It was like personifying the saying "Love is better the second time around." And this brand new love refers to being in love with life again. It was the same country, but not the same feeling. This one felt more liberating and personal because it felt like my anointing and redemption after years of feeling like a wilted Edelweiss. I mean I was never a delinquent lol, but I felt like it was the rebirth of my new self. This might sound exaggerated but it's the best way I could describe it.

It's just fascinating how certain gestures, scents, aromas, places and vibes could actually emanate different emotions. It could sometimes be a sort of familiarity that cuts you open right away and brings you back to the past. Sometimes, it's like a thirst for something indeterminate which you continuously try quenching but chooses to conceal itself at the moment. Sometimes, it juts out a kind of nostalgia that aches without an immediate antidote like missing your home country. But sometimes, I get to feel homesick for a place I've never been to and I question myself, how could that be even possible? And all these musings came to a temporary halt and reached St. Moritz Switzerland.

What Happened in St. Moritz

My friend called out my name loudly. Haha! And took a video of my arrival. This generous friend of mine was one of my colleagues in the Emergency Room before, our head nurse. I spent Christmas with her and her dog in Finland in 2021. I could never forget her kindness. This time, she was with her mom (Tita) and her partner. Tita flew from the Philippines to Europe to visit her and it was so enlivening to hear and speak my dialect with them which is "Hiligaynon". In my mind, I was like, "Gracious heavens!! Finally! Unlimited unforced and flowing conversations!! And No stuttering!" Haha

We spent a few hours soaking ourselves into the panoramic and picturesque views and ofcourse took videos and photos of each other. Aside from me being happy to be with my friend, I loved how youthful Tita was!! Her presence made me feel that I have a mother here in Europe even just for a couple of hours. I'm super glad to have met her!!I sat beside her on the train going back to Tirano this time and I felt like we were inside a movie. (This time I sat on the red train where passengers can open the windows. It was cheaper and so much better because of the absence of centralized noise). I waved to all the cows and horses we got to pass by and wowed a lot. Haha!

Our Brief Stay in Lake Como

Since my 90-year old energy could not take it anymore, I took a lot of naps while my friend's partner was driving the car to Lake Como. From time to time, I opened my eyes and got to see beautiful vineyards along the way. Tita, on the other hand, was awake and counted the number of tunnels we passed through. Haha! My friend was at the front seat and when I'm awake from my many naps, we talked about random things. Fast forward to a few hours and we reached our destination. We drove Tita first to their booked Air BnB. We were welcomed by a beautiful weather and series of garden follies situated around the lake and also on the steep terrains. And because it's steep, my friend and I felt like languid grannies climbing the stairs fighting for their life. Lol! It was one epic funny memory!

Musings # 3

At night, the lights and the skies from the balcony were breathtakingly beautiful!! Omg! Like how do I take these all in?!! I was dead tired considering that I came from 3 night shifts but how could I even complain??

I ached for this kind of travel where I could just be with my thoughts and emotions while absorbing every tidbit of beauty around me. Like at this moment, I was thinking that if I died that day, it surely was a marvelous pain and if I did not (which thankfully I didn't, lol), it will be the kind of pain I am willing to get used to. Haha!

I understood more this time when people say that you can really fall in love with a place! I'm grateful for my never-ending curiosity and hunger for learning and more wisdom not just solely thru traveling but rather through going through life itself. (Drei 'Throughs' Alter! Was ist das hier?? Lol! Me in my flight of ideas in a foreign language, Haha) I give a lot of credit for the wisdom I gained to the people who came before me especially my grandparents, the authors whose literary masterpieces made an imprint in my heart and mind forever and all the experiences I've had since birth along with the characters in my lifestory.

Milan

As a Filipino, the first thing that comes into my mind when I hear the word Milan, is Jollibee. Fortunately, it's located near the historical church, Duomo di Milano. We ate lunch there and I ordered my favorite Peach mango pie and ofcourse fried chicken with rice as the main meal. Walking inside made me feel like I was just in Manila. I saw so many of my countrymen and it made me hyped up even as an introvert. Haha!

We strolled in the iconically emblematic Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Milan's shopping gallery. It did not mean so much to me since I am not a shopaholic but the intricacy of the architectural designs gave me a few minutes of feeling royal. Lol!

Going Back to Germany

Do you know what the best part of a vacation is? Never leaving. Goodbyes are always sad but it could be the saddest at ports, terminals and airports, I guess. I hugged Tita and my friend and bade goodbye. Now, I get to spend time with Steinbeck again through The East of Eden as I wait to land. Before deciding to take a nap, I read a few pages of the aforementioned book and I was on the parts wherein Cathy becomes Kate Albey and since I imagined the horrible scenes like her poisoning the owner of the brothel, I felt almost negatively choked that the Haribo gummies that I was chewing seemed to taste stale.

"Cabin Crew, prepare for landing." Geesh, back to reality. Back to the land of depre..... Haha! Just kidding! I try my best now to make Germany feel like my second home even it still does not, through counting my blessings here and appreciating what this country offers and the beauty and kindness around me.

Musings Upon Arrival in Germany

So when am I leaving again? Haha! Just kiddin'!

On a much serious note, I am still in awe the same way how the sceneries my eyes were blessed, made me feel, as with how I holy freakin' navigated and survived life here...All those crazy mishaps of missing train rides due to lack of Deutsch comprehension, haha! the bureaucracy, the sleepless nights and countless breakdowns, the culture and every single thing that Germany is which is just so completely different from my home country. Disclaimer: Germany taught me a lot of painstakingly beautiful lessons in life and I had a lot of valuable takeaways not just from the Germans but also from people I've met here too and for that, I am forever grateful. Indeed, it's true that ''When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Thanks to all the angels I call friends and to everyone who made and still keeps making my stay here lighter, more meaningful and colorful, including you, the readers of this blog. :)

Ending my musings through 2 meaningful quotes:

"Travel is like love, mostly because it’s a heightened state of awareness, in which we are mindful, receptive, undimmed by familiarity and ready to be transformed. That is why the best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end."

 -- Pico Iyer  

"Go where you feel most alive." - Unknown

If you made it this far, thank you a lot and I hope this blogpost impacted you in a positive way. I pour all my heart out when I'm writing that sometimes my tears just drop automatically Haha! so every blogpost is personal to me.

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