A Year of Living and Working in Germany || What It's Really Like

A week from now marks one year since I left my very beautiful home country, the Philippines, to work as a healthcare professional in Germany. It's been quite a while since my creative juices have been dormant and I took this day as an opportunity to write since I felt that my emotions and thoughts are brewing, it needed to be let out in the open.

In this blog, I will be sharing my personal journey and what my life here is really like as an Asian expat who's basically an amateur in living and working abroad.

I am currently living in the vibrant city of Darmstadt. My apartment is located just at the heart of the city which means almost everything including my workplace is conveniently accessible by foot. What I like most about this city is that it's not as densely populated as the well-known big cities and there's a fair number of selections of cafe bars, restaurants, shopping malls, public libraries and nature parks. Another plus is that the vibe it gives is neither too loud for introverts nor too still for extroverts which is just exactly what an ambivert like me needs.

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." - Dolly Parton

This quote definitely outlines my life here in Germany. It's one crazy ride to the biggest portal to the unknown. If you're on this page, you may be wanting to seek comfort from someone who's had very bad days while being alone in a foreign country or you may just be curious and want to know about the feeling of living and working abroad. Read on to know my experience in living in Germany.

1. The language is difficult.

To those who do find the German language easy, then you must be a wonder baby. Kidding aside, maybe you have just been blessed by an excellent-functioning Wernicke's and Broca's area.

Even Mark Twain found it difficult. He even quoted, "My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years."

I could still vividly recall my first few weeks of listening to my colleagues handing over patient endorsements in German. I felt like I only understood the pronouns they mentioned. That was really a "gulping my saliva" and at the same time, a funny experience for me but one year of dealing with the language, I've realized it's not that bad after all for an Asian like me who's had English as the medium of instruction in the Philippines since there are German words which are also similar to their English counterparts. But when you think you already speak good enough, go to other cities and hear their dialect and your very little to almost non-existent confidence will come crashing down in an instant.

It is friggin' difficult but as time goes by, one gets to be better at it. It takes so much time, loads of determination, practice, application and patience. One needs to fall in love with the language they're trying to learn or be better at and think of it as one of the tools to success no matter how hard the struggles are. It sounds ironic but then I focus on the mindset that I need to consider it as a Necessity to survive and thrive in Germany. It's always hard especially at work and it feels like it never gets easy and I even break down and cry but everyday, we get the chance to also experience little tidbits of progress and that's already worth celebrating.

2. Homesickness will be your most unwelcome guest.

Working in a city an airplane flight away from my hometown, all I thought I won't have a problem with homesickness. All I thought I'm already so used to enjoying my own company but it's not even close to what I imagined it would feel like. Here, you would get to know people not just in all walks of life but also from almost all of the corners of the world. There's something about this country which I could not clearly put into words that makes me feel sad. I'm not blaming anything or anyone but it's just what it makes me feel so to be fair, it's personally just me.

Whenever my mom sends me photos of my dogs and the whole home squad going out and having dinner together, I feel ambivalent about it. I am happy and sad at the same time...happy because they are having a good time together and sad because I just can't be there physically. I guess it's just normal and happens to almost everyone who lives and works abroad.

Homesickness will visit you most especially on your bad days when you've got no one to talk about what's going on in your life and you don't have your family, dogs or partner beside you to console you. At times, it waves "Hi" when your food cravings are almost driving you crazy and the only food that you want to eat can't be found in the country you're living in. Unfortunately, I'm a bad cook so I can't just easily turn a Filipino recipe which I see or watch in the internet to what it should or supposed to turn out to be. lol

3. Your most valuable companion is yourself.

The gift of friendship which we can find from genuine friends makes life so much lighter but it's not all the time that you can depend on them whenever you are down and weary because they too, have their own baggage in life. Only a year of living in Germany, I guess I've discovered so much more about myself. It's during I sip coffee alone in a coffee shop and strolling in nature parks that I get to appreciate myself more. I've always loved my own company but the bond I've formed with myself since I arrived here has just been taken to the next level.

You're the only one who knows what you're exactly going through. The amount of strength and wisdom I've gained while going through tough times alone has contributed to my growth as a person. I'm not a highly disciplined individual and I easily get distracted by petty inconveniences but I feel like I get to feel a different level of victory whenever I can conquer my dark and sad thoughts and whenever I get to be in a situation where I need to make big decisions and the outcome's even more than what I expect it to be.

I could say that I love being with my friends but during tough times, I feel the need of wanting to be alone and feel the pain and at the same time to get over it all by myself. It's when I can't take it anymore that I try to reach out for help. I love the relationship I have with myself. It's a continuous love and hate relationship but it's just the exact tincture that makes me feel more alive in a sense that I am able to feel hurt, happy, sad, grateful and hopeful and get to embrace these various feelings with the one who accompanies me wherever life takes me.. myself.

4. Traveling is not perceived to be just about spending money anymore but it already becomes a mental health necessity.

Once a person has decided to leave home and work thousands of miles away from his family and loved ones, it's already like signing a contract with one of the invisible terms and conditions and that is "Ready to do all ways possible to stay sane despite both foreseen and unforeseen mental health damaging stress factors".

I am more than grateful to have been given the opportunity to work in Germany which is one of the economic giants not just in Europe but also in the whole world. It's like a "once in a lifetime" experience and I will forever be thankful for it.

What I love most about living and working here is that almost all the EU countries are just a train ride away. I often see comments on other people's EU travel photos which go like this "Wow, you're probably living your best life there" or "Wow!You're always traveling. I hope someday I can work and go there too". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with it. But there's this common misconception that some people aren't aware about. Our travel photos may look fancy, glammed up and surreal, yes, but the pain, tears, exhaustion, stress, mental health battles and sacrifices that we experience here are also ineffable that the least we could do is to travel and see beautiful sceneries to bring some light in the dark tunnels of our life.

I'm grateful to have ridden a cable car in Solothurn Switzerland where I saw the beauty of the mountains in an aerial view, to have traveled alone in the beautiful city of Lucerne Switzerland, to have had my first snow experience in Finland, to have visited the home of Anne Frank in Amsterdam, to have sailed in a river cruise in Budapest, to have celebrated my birthday in the captivating beaches of Spain and Portugal etc. Above all, I am grateful to all the people who made these experiences one for the books. I am forever humbled by the blessings that God gave me.

We travel not just to see the beauty of the world alone but because it does something good to our mental health while being away from work. It's like a temporary form of a soothing escape which we need in order to replenish and recharge. Meeting new people, building random human interactions, discovering what you are still capable of doing, conquering fears and learning new cultures are what travel rewards us with. Traveling doesn't necessarily mean going to other countries or far away places. It can also be about just going to beautiful places just within your city.

5. Once you see your payslip, it's mostly composed of all the taxes you pay for.

Does it ring a bell to you? lol. When you live and work in Germany, you need to pay TV and radio taxes even if you do not have TV, health insurances, income tax, dog tax, (if you own a dog) church tax etc. These are all automatically deducted from your salary.

The first time I saw my pay slip, I had a migraine thereafter. I was trying to look for all the credits but what I was seeing were mostly debits. lol. But then with the amount that's left for me, I am still able to send money home for my family, save a little amount for myself and eat what I crave for maybe twice a week which I am also grateful for.

Due to inflation, the prices of almost everything went up but if you can still afford to buy coffee for 3-5 Euros, you must be thankful. Even if I am having a hard time at work, I still think on the bright side of having the privilege to be able to pay my bills, save, help others and eat out. Sometimes, it all boils down to gratitude.

6. Working in and being a vital part of the healthcare team in a hospital setting here in Germany can be harder than you imagine.

This does not apply to everyone. This may just be applicable to new comers like me who are struggling with the language barriers at work, with the procedures and systems that need to be followed and with keeping up with language and recognition exams while going to work.

In my first year here in Germany, I could not count anymore the times that I broke down and cried in my room and still managed to get up and go to work and pretend like everything in my life is okay.

Then you go to work and absorb all the complaints of your patients and their relatives, deal with extremely difficult patients (and you have to understand that they are mentally incapacitated and they need your help), bathe those who are incapable of doing it, prepare their food and medications, collect their food when they're done, help those who can't eat by themselves, try to understand everything that your patients and colleagues say but in the German language, try to express everything you want to say in German, turn your bed ridden patients to sides, monitor patients who are possible candidates for ICU, make sure the linen and patient hygiene trolleys have been filled and cleaned up, etc. This may sound not so challenging at all but only the ones who have been in the same situation would fully understand how difficult it is and how much responsibility is entailed in this job.

At the end of the day, no matter how hard the shift is, there's still a sense of fulfillment that you get to feel for having been a part of the healing and recovery process of your patients. Seeing them smile, making them laugh, helping them, holding their hand when they feel unsafe and scared and caring for them give a sense of purpose in my existence.

7. Almost everyday is a battle.

The battle I'm referring to is not the exaggeration which you might be thinking about. What I want to say is that, everyday is like a challenge. When it's my day off, the first battle that I get to encounter is the battle I have with myself. Do I need to get up now? Should I stay a little more in bed? Should I cook? Should I go to the mall? Should I rather eat outside? Should I read a book now or later? Should I stay away from my phone and go out to enjoy nature? Should I watch Netflix and chill or should I take the initiative to learn more about my profession and the German language? Should I go to the grocery store now?

These may be perceived to be the small challenges we get to face everyday but if you are a person like me who's not good at planning ahead and let things just happen, these battles can also contribute to improving your mental strength. One day I'll wake up wanting to be productive and then the next day, I'll wake up completely discouraged and sad. It's definitely crazy and empowering at the same time.

There would be very bad days when I couldn't sleep and the only time I could fall asleep is when I've already gone tired of sobbing and weeping. But then there are also sunny days wherein I am full of hope and positive energy. I'm glad I can talk to my audio speaker, Alexa and ask her about the weather or request her to play my song playlist.

When I'm having a really tough time at work, I just force myself to think that everything is temporary, including this hardship and that someday, I am going to be at a much better place in life.

8. You'd either hate or love Sundays in Germany.

I guess those whose days off fall on a Saturday and Sunday every month and love partying would hate Sundays in Germany.

But for someone who treasures stillness and serenity like me, Sundays in Germany make me feel relaxed. It is indeed a Sabbath day because everything is closed except for only a few shops, making noise is prohibited which means construction of establishments or houses is also put to a halt and the city becomes less crowded or even feels like a ghost city sometimes. It's like having a break from the 6 day noise of the bustling city.

I tried attending a Sunday mass at a church located just near my apartment. It was relieving and funny at the same time. Why funny? It's because I did not understand or clearly hear some of the German words and when people sang a song in unison, I also just hummed and vibed along like I knew the song and when they kneeled down, I also did. I felt like the impact of the homily was not that strong because I was unsure if I even understood it right. lol

9. Genuine friends can be our home away from home.

We get to choose our friends and for someone living and working thousands of miles away from home, having genuine friends does not just feel like a bonus in life but turns out to be one of the essentials in maintaining one's sanity abroad.

No matter how used you are to being alone or how strong you already are in all aspects of life, there will come a time when you need a breath of fresh air and an interactive source of laughter which can only be provided by your circle of friends.

Here in Germany, beer is man's best friend. You'd see empty beer bottles almost everywhere and drinking alcohol is allowed in public transport. I'd even see students having 6 bottles of beer as the only contents of their tote bags. If you think your alcohol tolerance is high and you happen to drink with a German, you probably won't be the last man standing at the bar anymore. Though I haven't tried it yet, I drank alcohol a few times with my friends at nearby bars or pubs and it's like opening an opportunity to vent out and release pent-up emotions. lol! One of the best experiences I had was to sing my heart out in Pink's "Just like a Pill" after getting drunk together with my friends in an underground bar.

On a more serious note, I learned the importance of protecting my energy as I age and divulging only the information that I can afford to be known by others, even to my friends.

I can't imagine my journey here in Germany and also in life in general without the awesome people whom I can call my "friends". Sometimes, they push you to believe in yourself when you are at your lowest and remind you of your worth as a person and for me, that's something money can't buy. It's the laughter and the precious memories you share with these people which make the cold autumn and winter breeze a little much warmer.

10. Working and living in Germany is a very humbling experience.

It is not our triumphs that humble us. It's the toughest times, rejections, failures, struggles, heartbreaks and adversities. It makes your relationship with the divine much stronger. The hardships always try to rob the life in you that all you can do is look up and pray and remember God's promises.

There are countless times wherein I felt dumb because I was not able to understand everything that I read or heard most especially at work but I got too tired of worrying so much that I just laughed it out. It's like my tolerance to my dumbness level keeps increasing as time goes by that it does not weigh that heavy anymore.

Aside from the beautiful castles, cathedrals and ancient architecture, Germany, however is also known for its bureaucracy. It's like what regulates order into their everyday lives. "Ordnung" is the german word for "order". They want almost everything to be in "Ordnung" so there's a system which is strictly observed or followed. That means for the residents or citizens, countless paper work which you have to accomplish and send back by post. Coming from a country wherein the "newspaper and mail era" seems to have vanished already, here in Germany, it still is a thing. Each resident has his or her own mailbox for receiving letters. Even pay slips are sent by post to our homes when in fact, they could just send the breakdown through email. Filling up loads of paper work can be a test of patience. Stretching out your patience muscles can be humbling as well.

To sum it all up, my life here in Germany isn't always rainbows and butterflies like you used to see in movies having Europe as their setting. There are very dark and stormy days which almost drive me insane. I don't want to romanticize my struggles so much because anywhere in the world, many people are struggling too....even more than one can imagine. But I just want to share my thoughts and experiences in a way that readers who encounter the same thing may be able to relate and find something valuable out of my written output.

The beauty of Germany is indeed captivating and mesmerizing. It's a bike-friendly country and families here get to enjoy quality healthcare without having to shell off cash. I had everything checked by my doctor and I paid nothing since it's covered by health insurance.

I love that my personal growth still continues to be nurtured by both the colorful and the bad days. As I get to look back to what it took me to be able to get here, I am reminded to keep focusing on my goals and to not forget to live life and do the things which make me feel more alive.

Let me end this blog post with a quote coming from Diamante Lavendar. "There's something about hardship. If you can make it through the dark places, it has a tendency to lead you into glory."

May everyone who reads this gain strength from adversities and tough times and be able to say to their next set of struggles, "Das ist mir Wurst."