Keep Calm and Be Selfish

Working as a healthcare professional, I couldn't count the times when I had mental breakdowns. In the toilet, in the chapel, on my bed, in the cafe while drinking coffee, on the floor, along the streets while walking, name it, I've lost it in all possible corners of the globe. lol!

Please don't get me wrong. I am grateful for my job and I feel like I have a purpose in life whenever I see the smile on my patients' face when they feel satisfied and happy with my service as a nurse.

On the otherhand, saving lives or contributing to the recovery of the sick is absolutely not a joke. It requires so much energy and to be honest, it's mentally, emotionally, physically, socially and sometimes even spiritually draining.

Inorder for us to be able to recharge our mind and body, we must unfortunately practice being selfish, but in a responsible manner.

Be selfish with your energy. Not everything deserves a reaction. I'll give you an example which I have personally encountered at work. A colleague whom I've worked with in the ER before barely listens to our opinions and/or suggestions. I call her 'Miss Right'. Everytime she argued with me, I let her be right even if I know she's wrong. Yes, it's not good but I stay away from drama and avoid further toxicity because the shift alone's already a catastrophe. I simply walk away from these kinds of people. It's not worth the stress. After such incidents, I can still use some of my remaining energy to the things which I love doing like reading, writing and singing.

Be selfish with your time. It's always okay to politely turn down an invitation or say NO. I could not count the times when I refused doing extra shifts. Yes, it's more money but money is and will never be everything. As someone living and working abroad alone, the only thing that waits for me to come home is my pile of laundry. Thus I need to tank myself up emotionally and mentally because I don't have someone to run to physically when I have bad days. Yes, I need money but I need more time to be at peace, to think, to recharge, to scribble my thoughts, to calm myself down, to process unfortunate events, deal with my resurfacing trauma, and to unwind even if it means just staying at home without doing anything and just breathe and turn to sides to make mysef feel that I am really alive in real life. lol

Make yourself your number one priority. This may sound like one of the most selfish reminders but I have always proven it to work. I never get tired of repeating this quote, "You can not pour from an empty cup."

Our employers will replace us immediately if we get sick and worse, if we die. Our friends are busy with their own lives and mental load too, they won't take time to ask us how we are doing or worse, take time to drive an extra mile to visit us in the psychiatric unit if everything gets out of hand for us. Our partners may just find someone more attractive and leave us behind. Our parents become old and we don't know when they will leave us permanently. These are sad truths in life that we need to accept whether we like it or not. Now, the question is, 'Who's going to take care of you on an extra personal level if you'll get sick while all of these will happen to you?'

NOBODY. Thus, love yourself a little bit more.

To empaths like me, I know that we think about and consider the feelings of others more often than not especially at work but I hope we can gradually take baby steps to prioritize our needs first than the others' and when to pause and take a break if things are too much for our mind and body to handle already. We got this! :) Keep calm and be responsibly selfish.

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I appreciate it a lot and I am very grateful to every generous heart. May we all grow, prosper and attain inner peace. ❤️